The Unwritten Code of Army Wives, HH6 Book Club Recap November 2019
Remember that time I started a book club and then failed miserably? Well, not this time! I'm so happy to say that the Household Six book club is going strong. In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, the Household Six Book Club is a book club that I started where military spouses read and discuss books about military life. You don't have to be a military spouse to join but the majority of gals in the book club right now are. Anyways, if you're even remotely interested in the book club you can find out more information here: The Household Six Book Club.
November was the first month for the book club and I knew I wanted to start us off with a bang. So, the Household Six Book Club read Army Wives/Under the Sabers by Tanya Biank. I chose Army Wives by Tanya Biank as a bit of a joke because it is the book that the Lifetime show, Army Wives, was based on. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I sat down to read the first page. I was instantly hooked! The show and the book are so different, in the best ways. The book details the lives of four wives around the same period in their lives and was written to highlight the Fort Bragg Army Wife murders as well as open up the door for discussion on how military marriages are so different.
One of the themes that resonated with me throughout the book is actually its original subtitle: The Unwritten Code of Army Wives. I struggled at first with understanding what the author meant by this. Was she referring to the cheating and cover-ups that took place? Did she mean it in the sense of keeping personal matters private and not discussing your marital issues outside of the home or was it something else?
By the end of the book, I realized what Biank meant by The Unwritten Code of Army Wives. As a whole, it is referring to the way we conduct ourselves as Wives in everyday life. A way of putting our best appearance forward to make it seem like our marriages are just like everyone else.
But they're not and this is an issue that Biank beautifully highlights in her telling of these events. Military marriages are so complex and are so unique that they require unique resources, something the military wasn't quiet understanding in the early 2000s.
Overall, I enjoyed Army Wives/Under the Sabers and highly recommend it to any new or seasoned military spouse who wants a little more insight into how September 11th and a decade of war impacted our current military life climate. Though written and published over ten years ago, Tanya Biank's work carries themes within it that prove to be still relevant to our life today which we discussed in this month's discussion.
Discussion Questions:
What was your first impression of the book, were you hooked immediately or did it take some time to get into?
The book was originally published in 2006 with the events of the book taking place between 2000*2002. What differences/similarities struck you between now and then?
What do you think of the book’s subtitle, The Unwritten Code of Military Marriage? What does the “unwritten code” mean?
Something that really struck me as I was reading is how Andrea Lynne is characterized as perhaps being unapproachable by other wives at different points (specifically around Chapter 8). This got me thinking about how often I feel as though people want you to be struggling if you’re a military spouse. That if you’re “handling things” too well (even if it’s just by looking good) other people resent you. We see this a lot in our current day and age with the rise of social media but it was interesting to me to see that theme still carry out a decade ago. (And don’t even get me started on the overall stereotype that if you’re even a mildly attractive and confident woman that you’re unapproachable or attention-seeking). Anyone else have any thoughts on this and how it relates to military life?
Why would a husband murder the mother of his children? Do you agree with the Pentagon’s assessment of the Fort Bragg Army wife murders?
We learn from the experiences of others. Discuss any lessons from the book you can apply to your own life.
What was your favorite quote and/or passage?