journal with me 01: things I can control

how a simple journaling exercise saved me from spiraling—one Notes app list at a time.

Let’s be real – we can’t control most of life’s chaos (I mean, thank you military life and toddler tantrums), but here’s what I can control… well, kinda. Actually, I can’t even take credit for this week’s Journal With Me entry because, surprise, I didn’t come up with it.

It all starts with me, doom scrolling (shocker). I see a Facebook post that sends my heart racing like I’m mid-marathon. I slam out of the app like it's on fire and immediately start rage-texting my husband, fingers practically smoking as they hit the keyboard.

And that’s how the spiral begins. Pretty soon, I’m in full-blown panic mode over something I literally have zero control over.

Cue my husband, who somehow has the patience of a Zen master (seriously, someone should study his brain), dropping a question that stops my spiraling brain: “Why don’t you send me a list of things you can control?”

My initial reaction? A solid eye roll. A list? Of things I can control? As if that’s going to magically stop my mind from going full-speed train-wreck mode. But fine, if my husband thinks it’ll work, I’ll humor him (spoiler: he’s annoyingly right most of the time).

So, I grabbed my journal and started jotting things down. At first, it felt ridiculous – like writing down “I can control how many times I refresh Facebook” or “I can control whether or not I finish this entire coffee after I’ve already had two cups” – but then, something shifted. Once I started, I realized how much power I actually did have over the little things.

Here’s what I came up with:

who and what I follow on social media - where i dedicate my time and energy - my attitude, actions, and reactions - how I speak to myself and others - what (and how much) content I consume - my reactions to negative situations - how I respond to other people's behavior - what I decide to keep or remove from my life - my expectations of myself and others - when and how I process my emotions and feelings - my beliefs and values - when and if I forgive others

I didn’t expect how much lighter I felt just having it all written down. It was like suddenly, I had a roadmap to follow when things got messy (because, let’s face it, they always do).

This morning, I actually used the list again when I was sitting in the doctor's office (dermatologist for the fourth time in two months — more to come on that I’m sure), anxiety creeping in like an unwelcome guest. Instead of spiraling, I opened my notes app and started typing out what I could control in that moment. It helped me focus on the manageable things, instead of letting the unknowns take over. Something about having that power at my fingertips—literally—made the whole situation less overwhelming.

What really hit me was how much of this I can control, yet rarely stop to think about. I can decide who (and what) gets my energy and time, I can adjust how I respond to chaos, and I can choose what stays in my life and what needs to go. It’s not about getting it perfect—far from it—it’s about recognizing that I do have options, even when everything feels out of control.

And I realized something else: the stuff I can’t control? Well, maybe it’s not my job to control it in the first place. It doesn’t fix everything, but it helps—one small step at a time.

So, here’s your invitation to give it a try. The next time you feel that familiar anxiety creep in or you catch yourself spiraling over something totally out of your hands, grab a journal and write your own list. Start small. Write down the things you can control, no matter how basic or silly they seem at first. You might be surprised at how powerful this tiny exercise can be.

If you’re up for it, I’d love to see what you come up with. Share your lists with me (and each other) in the comments or post about it online. Tag me so we can keep this conversation going—I think we all need a little more of this in our lives, don’t you? If you’re up for it, I’d love to see what you come up with. Share your lists with me (and each other) in the comments or get creative with a journal spread of your own!