Navigating Wedding Questions During the Holiday Season

Nov 17, 2017

Y'all voted in the poll I ran on Instagram to see Wednesday's wedding post that I missed due to being sick and having some technical difficulties. Thanks to everyone who voted in the poll and if you missed this one be sure to follow me, I run polls on Instagram a lot and love hearing from you guys! Anyways, it’s so hard to believe that Thanksgiving is just next week. Whether or not you celebrate Thanksgiving, this time of year really kicks off the holiday season. Holidays are typically pretty stressful for anyone who’s anticipating dodging questions from aunts and uncles but they can be especially nerve wracking if you’re planning a wedding.

Last year, Justin and I had just gotten engaged when we went to my family’s neck of the woods (quite literally) for Thanksgiving. With our wedding only 6 months away now, I’m sure we will be getting a ton of questions about the wedding so I figured this post would be a great way to give myself a pep talk while helping my fellow bride-to-bes out there.

“How much are you spending on the wedding? Who’s paying for it?”

I don’t know about you guys but money questions always, always, always make me uncomfortable. First of all, it’s nobody else’s business how much you’re paying or who’s paying for the wedding. But handle yourself with grace when you answer, even though you really want to scream internally. If you’re newly engaged, dodging this question is easy because you can just say that you and your fiance are still trying to figure out your budget. For those of us who are a little farther along in the wedding planning, a simple change of topic might be in order.

“Why aren’t you having your wedding at x, y, or z?”

Justin and I expected a lot of pushback from the fact that we’re not getting married near either of our hometowns and I know there are more than a few of you out there that are going through the same thing. My go to response anytime I get this question is to just explain how important the location of our wedding is to the two of us. For example, we’ll be getting married at West Point which is where we met. Always bring the conversation of any wedding questions back to what’s important: that the wedding is a celebration of your love for each other.

“Can I bring my boyfriend/girlfriend/friend to your wedding?”

Wedding etiquette when it comes to plus one, from what I read, is tricky. If people are married, it’s a given that you would also invite their husband or wife. Same goes for if they are engaged. For Justin and I, we’ve selected a few people who we’ve given plus ones due to circumstance and what not. Having a destination wedding makes things a little more complicated because people don’t typically want to travel alone, especially to weddings. My strategy for dealing with this question is to again stress that you are paying for the wedding and are trying to keep the guest list as intimate as possible. Saying you just want to celebrate with your closest family and friends should keep the peace.

“Can I see a picture of your wedding dress?”

I am dreading people asking me this question. I’ve honestly already shared it with probably too many people at this point so I’m obviously a pushover when it comes to this topic (and others). My plan of attack for this question is to say that I really want to keep it a surprise for the wedding. I can’t imagine anyone fighting me on this but who knows (advice welcome).