I Found My Summer Bucket List from 2012...

I have moved so many times since 2010 that it amazes me what I've kept over the years. Justin and I made the trek to West Virginia/Maryland this past weekend and when we came back with three boxes of wedding stuff, I knew it was time to clear out some boxes that had been left over from switching jobs. At least, I thought that's what they were from. What we actually found was a random mix of stuff I've saved over the years. Notebooks and unused photo albums, birthday cards from friends, and the star of today's blog post: a summer bucket list from 2012. 

The minute I saw the bucket list, I knew that I had to share it with you guys. As I'm typing this, I have no idea what I'm calling this thing, let alone what this blog post about a completely random summer bucket list would even be. Just now, it's hit me that I wrote this bucket list nearly six years ago. SIX! 

Here are a few random facts about myself in 2012: 

I was 20 years old

I was finishing my sophomore year of college at West Virginia University

I was living in my first apartment 

I started my first Instagram

I saw Ed Sheeran for the first time

Just to give you a little context into the mind of a 20-year-old college girl in 2012. Looking back, 2012 was probably one of the best years of my life. There is a lot of stuff I have never been open about outside of my friend group and I hope to dive into that all a little bit in this post. 

2012 was the year that I truly started to become myself. In 2011, I had ended my two year long on-again-off-again abusive relationship, gotten Gatsby, and moved into my first apartment. I found myself falling in love with other things, besides people, something that I had been really bad about prior to that. There were a few things that spurred this sort of new season of growth for me, aside from just maturing into my twenties. Looking back, 2012 is the year I found myself through healing, good company, and making memories.

Like I said, I have no idea what this post even is. So I hope you find it interesting. I'm basically just going to pull a few of these bucket list ideas out and talk about them. Talk about where I was mentally, what I would tell myself, whether or not things have changed since then... really just going with the flow today because it's April and still snowing here in New York so what even is normal anyways?

1. Be Spontaneous

To this day, I don't know why I ever put this down on any type of list. I'm just not a spontaneous person... most of the time. I think the reason "be spontaneous" so frequently ends up in my bucket list ideas is because it's what society has always told me I needed to be. And by society, I really mean the slew of ex-boyfriends who really didn't have my best interest in mind. I'm a planner by nature but that doesn't mean a girl can't be spontaneous from time to time. That being said, it's not something you should have to put on a bucket list.

3. Fall in love with someone or something new

My love life was a hot mess until I graduated college. Okay, scratch that, even after I graduated college. My love life was in shambles until I decided I wasn't going to care about it any more... which, wouldn't you know it, was right about the time I met my fiance. I was obsessed with finding that one person but I was also driven by the need to find myself. The thing about the cycle of abuse is that you tend to lose yourself. While I cringe thinking about where I was mentally to write this down, I wouldn't change it. 2012 is the year I fell in love with my friends and family, with day drinking at the pool, with running, with concerts and travel and so much more.

6. Start a blog

I can't remember if I actually started a blog this year or not. It's possible that I did because, like I said, I've started and stopped blogging numerous times over the years. I think the real reason I never committed to it before this past year is because I wasn't confident enough in myself. I still suffer from "imposter syndrome" nearly everyday when it comes to my blog and social media and that's why your kind words and comments make all the difference to me. If sharing something from my past or my experiences helps one person then I know it's worth it. Looking back, I definitely wish I would have started a blog and stuck to it in college. There are so many stories and experiences that I just don't know how to share them now.

7 and 8 are hilarious because I'm still terrible at both of those things...

11. Take tons of pictures

Remember when Instagram wasn't a thing? Well, I do. 2012 as I mentioned was the year I started Instagram (because it was the year I got my first iPhone, which I'm pretty sure promptly died). Back then, no one cared what your actual picture looked like on Instagram or what your caption even said. The point was all about documenting memories. At least, that's how I looked at it. Instagram has become so over saturated with the "keeping up with the Jones" mentality and it's something that I'm really striving to make better for myself and for the people who follow me. I used to love sharing random pictures on Instagram and while my feed may not be *totally* random these days, you better believe I'm focusing on sharing the best memories so that I can look back on them someday. I'm glad that even back then I knew how important taking pictures was going to be. Oddly enough, I'm still terrible about actually using photo albums despite the fact that I always print off a million pictures.

13. Stop taking everything so seriously

I wish I knew what I meant when I wrote this. Maybe it was to stop being anxious all the time, in actuality. I  used to get in my own way a lot. I mean, I still do because #anxiety but it's definitely something that doesn't control me as much as it did in 2012, mostly because I know I have it now. This is something I'm still working on, even 6 years later.

20. Meet lots of new people

It's so funny to reflect back on this. I am a victim of small town America. Where everyone knows everyone and knows everyone else's business. Despite going to a major university, I went to school 30 minutes from where I grew up which meant that I went to school with almost everyone I went to high school with. Moving to New York was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.

I hope you enjoyed this totally random relfection on my summer bucket list from 2012. If there's anything else you want to see come from this post, please let me know and if you liked it, definitely share it with your friends!